Grief

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

                                                                                 (Eccl 3:1-2,4 KJV)

As much as I sometimes regret retiring from parish ministry, this week I was once again reminded of one of the reasons to retire. I spent many years serving one particular congregation and got very close to them. They were and are still like family. I had the good pleasure of being there at births, at graduations, of baptizing them, marrying them, of being there to celebrate for a lot of very special occasions. There was much laughing and singing and dancing over the years.

But, I was also there to witness much grief. I was there for sickness, for losses of employment, and for divorces as well as many other rough times. I buried hundreds, many who were very close to me, witnessing and grieving with their loved ones. The closer I got to any of them during their lives the harder is was for me to preside at their funerals. I no longer could refrain from weeping during the sermons as I looked into the eyes of the family sitting in front of me. I did not weep for the deceased. I had hope in the promise that all who people have eternal life. I wept for the families. I wept to see such pain. 

During most of this time I was also the home health care and hospice chaplain for the local hospital. One would think that I would have grown used to death. Death is inevitable. For the faithful death is not the end. We have hope. Yet, when someone is ripped from our lives grief is also inevitable. As we hear from the preacher in Ecclesiastes there is a time to weep and a time to mourn. 

This past week, a young friend died; a father of young children died. His parents were neighbors and also friends. It saddens me greatly to even think about the grief his family is enduring. It grieves me to think of his young children growing up without their father. 

Over a year ago, after I had retired, I had been asked to preside at the funeral of another man much younger than myself. He was survived by a teenage son whom I had known since birth.  The boys mother, who had been a friend, had died some time before. To see such a beloved child of God in so much grief and pain I could not refrain from weeping as I proclaimed the Gospel. It was a very tough sermon to get through. It was the last funeral I presided at. 

It was a reminder of how close I had gotten to the community (not just the congregation) that I had served in and that I no longer was able to control my own emotions as I witnessed the grief experienced by others. 

I have reminded myself over the years as I wept with those who grieved that even Jesus wept when he met Lazarus' sisters after Lazarus' death and saw them in so much pain. Pastors grieve too. Pastors are allowed to shed tears. But, today I find that grief overwhelms me too often as I witness the grief of others and that is one of the reasons it was best that I retire from parish ministry. That doesn't mean I quit serving God. It will just be in other ways. 

May God grant all who grieve peace of heart and mind in the assurance of everlasting life for all who believe.

God's Peace - Pr. J.

Too Much Laughter

Woe unto you that are full! for ye shall hunger. Woe unto you that laugh now! for ye shall mourn and weep.

                                (Luke 6:25 KJV)

I am not all that comfortable being around people who laugh all of the time. I am not saying that we should never be joyful. But, it makes me very uncomfortable to be around people who think unless the outcome of a conversation is something that makes everyone laugh it has been an unfruitful conversation.

I simply do not view laughter or even happiness as the reason for being. If it were the reason for living then it would stand that those who grieve; those who are depressed would have no reason for being. That is a false narrative. In fact, I cannot help but wonder if the fact, that society wants us to believe that in order for our lives to be validated we must be happy, is the reason for so much depression today. We end up depressed because we are not as happy as the world seems to promise us we should be. 

Life is tough. Not everyone should be expected to be filled with laughter all of the time. We must give others (and ourselves) the time and opportunity to grieve; to be sad; to be contemplative. 

There is a difference (at least for me) between being happy, happy, happy, laughing all of the time and being joyful. Each and everyone of us have a purpose; a reason for being. Joy can be found in having a purpose and reaching toward fulfillment of that purpose. Joy can be found as we face challenges of the day knowing that God is with us and that in Him, His will will be accomplished. He is with us and so we can face another day and yet another challenge with peace and with joy.

Whatever we deem the purpose of life to be; I simply cannot accept that it is to make everyone laugh unless your profession is as a comedian. We cannot laugh away the troubles of the world. Troubles must be dealt with not hidden under laughter. If your neighbor needs help; help him or her as they face their trials. It does no long-term good to sit down and tell them jokes. There are times when you may have to sit beside them quietly and grieve with them. You just might have to actively do something. If your neighbor is in trouble; maybe, you just may need to assist them in some way to face the challenges of the day. 

"A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.." (Eccl 3:4) There is a time for all of these things according to the author of Ecclesiastes. We should know the difference. Laughter is not the answer to all of life's experiences. There is a time for laughter; but, it is not what we should expect of every outcome. 

I am very uncomfortable with people who think that laughter has to be the outcome of every visit; every meeting. Experience has (unfortunately) taught me not to trust those who laugh too much. And, yes, I do laugh and even smile quite a bit. But, tears also are a part of my experience. They are a part of the human experience. Grieving is a part of life's experience, as well. There is both a time to weep and a time to laugh. Let us do both as the situations we find ourselves lead us to.

God's Peace - Pr. J

P.S. Sorry for the rambling today. I am not against laughter. I am leery of those who think that we must laugh all of the time or that we are less than.

Live In Peace With One Another

      

         Live In Peace With One Another!

Why, Lord, do you stand far off?
Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?
In his arrogance the wicked man hunts down the weak,
who are caught in the schemes he devises.
He boasts about the cravings of his heart;
he blesses the greedy and reviles the Lord.
In his pride the wicked man does not seek him;
in all his thoughts there is no room for God.
His ways are always prosperous;
your laws are rejected by him;
he sneers at all his enemies.
He says to himself, “Nothing will ever shake me.”
He swears, “No one will ever do me harm.”
His mouth is full of lies and threats;
trouble and evil are under his tongue.
He lies in wait near the villages;
from ambush he murders the innocent.
His eyes watch in secret for his victims;
like a lion in cover he lies in wait.
He lies in wait to catch the helpless;
he catches the helpless and drags them off in his net.
His victims are crushed, they collapse;
they fall under his strength.
He says to himself, “God will never notice;
he covers his face and never sees.”
Arise, Lord! Lift up your hand, O God.
Do not forget the helpless.
Why does the wicked man revile God?
Why does he say to himself,
“He won’t call me to account”?
But you, God, see the trouble of the afflicted;
you consider their grief and take it in hand.
The victims commit themselves to you;
you are the helper of the fatherless.
Break the arm of the wicked man;
call the evildoer to account for his wickedness
that would not otherwise be found out.
The Lord is King for ever and ever;
the nations will perish from his land.
You, Lord, hear the desire of the afflicted;
you encourage them, and you listen to their cry,
defending the fatherless and the oppressed,
so that mere earthly mortals
will never again strike terror.
(Psalm 10 NIV)

Today is a day of national mourning as we grieve the tragedy of September 11, 2001. We continue to suffer and grieve as we continue to struggle to comprehend the inhumanity of humankind. It is difficult, if not impossible, to understand how or why anyone would kill so many people in the name of God.

But, 9-11 was not the first time nor the last. History is replete with religious fanatics; religious wars. The Christian church on earth is not without its own guilt. As there are Muslim extremists so there are and have been Christian extremists who destroy the lives of others for what their egos tell them is the thing to do. I often consider the damage that Christian have done even to Christians over the centuries; particularly, as the hierarchies have striven for political power. Those are some serious "shake my head" moments as I wonder how humanity can be so inhumane.

It is not just religious fanatics who strive for power to gratify their own egos, either. Consider how many people die daily because of being terrorized not just by strangers; but, often by friends and even family. It seriously grieves me when I consider Chicago's crime rate alone and Chicago is just one of example among many; albeit one of the worst. How much more inhumane can humanity become than to put one's own desire for power above the lives of others? 

Arise, Lord! Lift up your hand, O God. Do not forget the helpless. Lord, hear the desire of the afflicted; encourage them, and listen to their cry, defend the fatherless and the oppressed, so that mere earthly mortals will never again strike terror.

God's Peace be with you all - Pr. J

Abandon Your Small Boat And Follow Jesus

Everaldo Dejesus (D.J.) - "The Fisherman"

“'Come,' he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus." Matt 14:29

In 2013, my husband and I had reserved airline tickets to go and visit our friends D.J. and Mikki in Puerto Rico. D.J. had terminal cancer and our hopes were to visit him one last time. We did not make it in time. He died a couple of days before our flight was scheduled. We continued with our planned trip to grieve with his family. 

Life in this world is quite short. But, Jesus calls us to a world; a Kingdom, that is everlasting. A Kingdom where there is no more death or suffering or pain. In the last two weeks, numerous friends have died. In this world, I will no longer see Ellie Varney; or Carol Jordan; my sister-in-law, Dawn Mattson; or my former supervisor CWO4 Bob Paris. I live too far away to be able to attend any funeral or memorial services. And, yes, I grieve our loss. Even while there is the hope that we find in Jesus Christ, grief is a natural reaction to such loss and it cannot be avoided. 

Jesus first called the disciples, James and John, out of their fishing boats to follow him. They dropped their nets and followed him immediately. They followed him, not only in this world; but, into the Kingdom of God.

When the disciples were in a boat fishing, they saw Jesus walking on water toward them. Peter got out of the boat to go to him. In this world, we are called to abandon our small boats; our egos, our false gods, our everything, to take up the cross and follow him. The seas may be rough that we tread upon; the way is not always easy; but, Jesus is with us to keep us from drowning. Even though we face death, Jesus is there to lead us into his glorious Kingdom.

May God grant you all comfort in the knowledge of the promise that all who believe inherit the Kingdom of God through Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. Amen

God's Peace - Pr. J