Happy Anniversary To My Husband of 51 Years!

Genesis 2:24; Ephesians 5:31 KJV; It's not just about love but also keeping the commitment that we made to one another before God so many years ago. 

50 Years! Wah!

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. (Eph 5:31 KJV)

Fifty years! I am trying to process how we have managed to be married for fifty years today. I don't feel old enough to have been married that long. Yet, I am. There have also been many days when I've wondered how we actually managed to put up with each other in order to stay together that long. The answer is simple: by the grace of God.

We have considered how to celebrate this milestone anniversary; but, have not come up with anything. Although, the desire is there we both find that what we once may have enjoyed doing is just really pretty tiring for us. We just don't have the inclination to battle the traffic or crowds that we would encounter at doing most things. So it will be an early dinner out so that we can get to bed at our usual times. I have not drank alcoholic beverages in almost thirty years. But, if I don't get to bed at my usual time I wake up feeling hungover. I don't like that feeling because the whole day ends up feeling wasted. It will be an early evening as usual.

It was a pretty rocky beginning. Not many people thought we should get married. Thank God for my Grandma Mary Dalback as she seemed to be about the only family member from either side of the family who was truly supportive of the marriage. Even fewer thought that the marriage would last and it almost didn't on more than one occasion thanks to both of us acting badly and only considering ourselves rather than each other. But, by a miracle from God it has lasted and we have had each other to grow old with through better and through worse times; through sickness and health.

Marriage can be pretty rough. It can be challenging. But, when God joins two people together you can be assured that he will help you through those rough times if you let him; if you listen to him.

Fifty years of marriage! Wah! Thanks be to God for his grace and mercy! Thanks be to God for his good gift of love!

God's Peace - Pr. J.

Grief

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

                                                                                 (Eccl 3:1-2,4 KJV)

As much as I sometimes regret retiring from parish ministry, this week I was once again reminded of one of the reasons to retire. I spent many years serving one particular congregation and got very close to them. They were and are still like family. I had the good pleasure of being there at births, at graduations, of baptizing them, marrying them, of being there to celebrate for a lot of very special occasions. There was much laughing and singing and dancing over the years.

But, I was also there to witness much grief. I was there for sickness, for losses of employment, and for divorces as well as many other rough times. I buried hundreds, many who were very close to me, witnessing and grieving with their loved ones. The closer I got to any of them during their lives the harder is was for me to preside at their funerals. I no longer could refrain from weeping during the sermons as I looked into the eyes of the family sitting in front of me. I did not weep for the deceased. I had hope in the promise that all who people have eternal life. I wept for the families. I wept to see such pain. 

During most of this time I was also the home health care and hospice chaplain for the local hospital. One would think that I would have grown used to death. Death is inevitable. For the faithful death is not the end. We have hope. Yet, when someone is ripped from our lives grief is also inevitable. As we hear from the preacher in Ecclesiastes there is a time to weep and a time to mourn. 

This past week, a young friend died; a father of young children died. His parents were neighbors and also friends. It saddens me greatly to even think about the grief his family is enduring. It grieves me to think of his young children growing up without their father. 

Over a year ago, after I had retired, I had been asked to preside at the funeral of another man much younger than myself. He was survived by a teenage son whom I had known since birth.  The boys mother, who had been a friend, had died some time before. To see such a beloved child of God in so much grief and pain I could not refrain from weeping as I proclaimed the Gospel. It was a very tough sermon to get through. It was the last funeral I presided at. 

It was a reminder of how close I had gotten to the community (not just the congregation) that I had served in and that I no longer was able to control my own emotions as I witnessed the grief experienced by others. 

I have reminded myself over the years as I wept with those who grieved that even Jesus wept when he met Lazarus' sisters after Lazarus' death and saw them in so much pain. Pastors grieve too. Pastors are allowed to shed tears. But, today I find that grief overwhelms me too often as I witness the grief of others and that is one of the reasons it was best that I retire from parish ministry. That doesn't mean I quit serving God. It will just be in other ways. 

May God grant all who grieve peace of heart and mind in the assurance of everlasting life for all who believe.

God's Peace - Pr. J.

Till Death Parts Us

But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;

And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.

What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 

                                                     (Mark 10:6-7 KJV)

Forty-nine years ago today we repeated the traditional vows: "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part." There were days that we both were ready to throw in the towel; but, we remembered our promises and kept on. I've often warned couples preparing to be married that there would be days that you do not feel any love for each other. That doesn't matter. Marriage is about commitment to each other. It is about caring for the other person just as you care about yourself. The command that Jesus gave us to love one another applies to marriage as well as to the rest of the world. (John 15:17) Love is not just a feeling. It is also an action. If you love someone you take action and treat them as you would like to be treated. (Matt 7:12)

When God joins two people together in marriage you are joined forever. Yes, you may end up separated or divorces. It happens. Sometimes abusive marriages are so damaging that one must leave to save their very lives and to preserve their physical, spiritual, or mental health. But; regardless of the separation, you will always be connected forever for better or for worse... 

Marriage works out best when we strive to make it for better and I do mean strive. Marriage is not always easy. It is not even good for everyone to be married. Some are called to stay single so that they are not distracted by a spouse and can better grow in and serve the Lord.

Although marriage can be a bit tough at times, it is most often worth it. Two people with different gifts coming together and actually working as one can accomplish much more than trying to do everything alone if they are actually serving with like minds. They will (usually) have someone to turn to in sickness and in health. The Preacher who wrote Ecclesiastes surmised that two are better than one. When times get rough remember what he had to say.

"There is one alone, and there is not a second; yea, he hath neither child nor brother: yet is there no end of all his labour; neither is his eye satisfied with riches; neither saith he, For whom do I labour, and bereave my soul of good? This is also vanity, yea, it is a sore travail.

Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.

For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.

Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone?

And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken."

                                                                                         (Eccl 4:8-12)

I have been married for most of my life. I often wonder how it is can be that we have been married this long. Forty-nine years is a long time and I do not feel like I'm  old enough to have been married for that long. But... I am!

God's Peace - Pr. J.