God Has Kept Us Together

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a; Celebrating 52 years of marriage and thanking God for keeping us together in a life of commitment and love.

Virtuous Relationship

Proverbs 31:10; 27-28 KJV

Love Never Fails

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 

                            (1 Cor 13:4-8a NIV)

One of the most often requested scripture readings for wedding is from 1 Corinthians, chapter thirteen. It is is very good advice for two people who are about to commit their whole earthly lives to one another. Love does not fail; however, due to our sinful natures we often fail to love. Marriages fall apart because we love ourselves or someone or something else more than the one we have committed to spend the rest of our lives with. Relationships whether it is in a marriage or with other family members or friends will fail because of a lack of love.

God has given us many gifts. Faith, hope, and love being among them. The greatest of these, says St. Paul, is love. (1 Cor 13:13) God has given us love in His Son, Jesus Christ. There is no greater love than a love that is willing to give their very lives for others, even as Jesus gave his life for us. We respond to His love by sharing that love with others.

The love from God does not fail. It can move mountains and crush molehills. His love inspires us to be patient and kind; not disrespecting others, nor being self-seeking, nor angered. Rather, that love inspires us to love God above all things and to love others even as he loves us.

As a friend of mine often says: "Share the love!"

God's Peace - Pr. J.

Marriage Feast

And the third day there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee; and the mother of Jesus was there:

And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage.

And when they wanted wine, the mother of Jesus saith unto him, They have no wine.

Jesus saith unto her, Woman, what have I to do with thee? mine hour is not yet come.

His mother saith unto the servants, Whatsoever he saith unto you, do it.

And there were set there six waterpots of stone, after the manner of the purifying of the Jews, containing two or three firkins apiece.

Jesus saith unto them, Fill the waterpots with water. And they filled them up to the brim.

And he saith unto them, Draw out now, and bear unto the governor of the feast. And they bare it.

When the ruler of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine, and knew not whence it was: (but the servants which drew the water knew;) the governor of the feast called the bridegroom,

And saith unto him, Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine; and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse: but thou hast kept the good wine until now.

                                                                        (John 2:1-10 KJV)

Jesus' first miracle was at a wedding celebration. When they ran out of celebratory wine he turned water into very good wine for the people. The man in charge of the feast tasted it and said: "Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine; and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse: but thou hast kept the good wine until now." 

Jesus provided the best wine to celebrate with. That is how a relationship with Jesus goes as well. When we receive the bridegroom, Jesus, into our lives we are receiving the best! 

Jesus began his ministry by turning water into wine for the wedding feast. On the night in which he was betrayed he took the cup of wine and said:  "this cup is the new testament in my blood: this do ye, as oft as ye drink it, in remembrance of me." (1 Cor 11:25)

Taste and see that the Lord is good as you look to the day when we will celebrate at the marriage feast of the lamb! (Rev 19:6-9)

God's Peace - Pr. J.

50 Years! Wah!

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. (Eph 5:31 KJV)

Fifty years! I am trying to process how we have managed to be married for fifty years today. I don't feel old enough to have been married that long. Yet, I am. There have also been many days when I've wondered how we actually managed to put up with each other in order to stay together that long. The answer is simple: by the grace of God.

We have considered how to celebrate this milestone anniversary; but, have not come up with anything. Although, the desire is there we both find that what we once may have enjoyed doing is just really pretty tiring for us. We just don't have the inclination to battle the traffic or crowds that we would encounter at doing most things. So it will be an early dinner out so that we can get to bed at our usual times. I have not drank alcoholic beverages in almost thirty years. But, if I don't get to bed at my usual time I wake up feeling hungover. I don't like that feeling because the whole day ends up feeling wasted. It will be an early evening as usual.

It was a pretty rocky beginning. Not many people thought we should get married. Thank God for my Grandma Mary Dalback as she seemed to be about the only family member from either side of the family who was truly supportive of the marriage. Even fewer thought that the marriage would last and it almost didn't on more than one occasion thanks to both of us acting badly and only considering ourselves rather than each other. But, by a miracle from God it has lasted and we have had each other to grow old with through better and through worse times; through sickness and health.

Marriage can be pretty rough. It can be challenging. But, when God joins two people together you can be assured that he will help you through those rough times if you let him; if you listen to him.

Fifty years of marriage! Wah! Thanks be to God for his grace and mercy! Thanks be to God for his good gift of love!

God's Peace - Pr. J.

Till Death Parts Us

But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;

And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.

What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 

                                                     (Mark 10:6-7 KJV)

Forty-nine years ago today we repeated the traditional vows: "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part." There were days that we both were ready to throw in the towel; but, we remembered our promises and kept on. I've often warned couples preparing to be married that there would be days that you do not feel any love for each other. That doesn't matter. Marriage is about commitment to each other. It is about caring for the other person just as you care about yourself. The command that Jesus gave us to love one another applies to marriage as well as to the rest of the world. (John 15:17) Love is not just a feeling. It is also an action. If you love someone you take action and treat them as you would like to be treated. (Matt 7:12)

When God joins two people together in marriage you are joined forever. Yes, you may end up separated or divorces. It happens. Sometimes abusive marriages are so damaging that one must leave to save their very lives and to preserve their physical, spiritual, or mental health. But; regardless of the separation, you will always be connected forever for better or for worse... 

Marriage works out best when we strive to make it for better and I do mean strive. Marriage is not always easy. It is not even good for everyone to be married. Some are called to stay single so that they are not distracted by a spouse and can better grow in and serve the Lord.

Although marriage can be a bit tough at times, it is most often worth it. Two people with different gifts coming together and actually working as one can accomplish much more than trying to do everything alone if they are actually serving with like minds. They will (usually) have someone to turn to in sickness and in health. The Preacher who wrote Ecclesiastes surmised that two are better than one. When times get rough remember what he had to say.

"There is one alone, and there is not a second; yea, he hath neither child nor brother: yet is there no end of all his labour; neither is his eye satisfied with riches; neither saith he, For whom do I labour, and bereave my soul of good? This is also vanity, yea, it is a sore travail.

Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.

For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.

Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone?

And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken."

                                                                                         (Eccl 4:8-12)

I have been married for most of my life. I often wonder how it is can be that we have been married this long. Forty-nine years is a long time and I do not feel like I'm  old enough to have been married for that long. But... I am!

God's Peace - Pr. J.

Husbands And Wives

Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it...

                                            (Eph 5:24-25 KJV)

There was a time when men used the verse from St. Paul regarding wives having to be to their own husband in every thing as justification to subjugate them. It still happens and is legal in some countries. It still happens in some households even in the United States. But, that only happens when we neglect to read the verse about husbands loving their wives as Christ loved the church. Jesus loves us enough to die for us. He loves us enough to have died for us.

Marriage is not about what you can get out of it; but, about loving and supporting one another. Wives give freely to their spouses; putting their personal desires after their desire to please their husbands and to live as one with them. Husbands love their wives in such a manner that they are willing to give completely of themselves even as Christ gave himself for all people. For many that might and most probably means dying to the desires of a self-serving ego.

After God created man and woman He said that they would be joined together and become one. When addressing the topic of divorce, Jesus said:

"But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; 

And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh." 

                                                                                      (Mark 10:6-8)

The majority of people would not willfully harm themselves so it would behoove us to remember that as we hurt our spouses we harm ourselves as God has ordained that we are one. 

Live in peace; live in love with one another.

God's Peace - Pr. J.

Live Joyfully With Your Spouse

Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun. (Eccl 9:9 KJV)

It is a good thing to have someone to share and enjoy one's life with. 

Over the years as I have done pre-marital counseling I have often found myself advising couples that if their marriage is going to last and last peaceably they probably need to find time to be together and things to do together. It seems as though many young people think that marriage should afford each partner time to do what it is that they like to do. Sometimes, they expect an awful lot of time to be who they were before marriage. Playing cards with the guys every Saturday night or in the bar for a few (few too many) drinks with your gal pals can cause more than a few problems. It can take the joy right out of a marriage. 

Hanging with your old friends or at your old haunts on a way too regular basis is nothing short of adultery. Just as putting anything or anyone before God is idolatry; putting anything or anyone before your spouse is adultery. Of course, there will be times when that might need to happen. You may have to help a friend in need instead of going out to dinner with your spouse. But, a God-fearing and loving spouse would support you in that. 

Marriage is about a lot of things. It is about sharing things, including your time. It is about commitment to the one you love enough to have married in the first place. Your spouse comes before the things and/or people who were in your life prior to Holy Matrimony. It is about sacrifice. Sometimes you both might have to sacrifice some of those things that gave you pleasure prior to making the commitment to love and care for and respect each other.

Marriage is not always easy. In fact, it can be pretty tough. But, if you want to live joyfully with the one whom you love then set aside your vanity and put that person before all other things of this world. 

Marriage may be hard at times; but, it is not a ball and chain. It is not a death sentence. It is a gift from God so that you might have someone to enjoy life with and to grow old with.

God's Peace - Pr. J

Love Does No Evil

"...and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 

                                                                           (1 Corinth 13:2b-7 NIV)

Who can love as Paul encourages the Corinthians to love?  God can. Our Lord, Jesus, loves the world enough to die for it; to willingly be a sacrifice for us so that we might live in our loving Father's presence for all of eternity. Only God loves perfectly; but, that does not mean we should not follow the example of Jesus and try to love as He loves.

Many brides and grooms listen to these words from Paul's letter to the Corinthians at their wedding ceremonies. They are in love. Unfortunately, some are just in love with the idea of love. Their "loving" relationships do not last. One or both persons often end up neglected or used or abused in many ways. Their lives after the wedding often do not reflect the kind of self-less love that they committed to as they made their vows to one another. Way too often, one or both of them forgot that God has joined them together to be one and they go off pursuing their own good; their own pleasures, as they neglect or even abuse the one they vowed to love 'till death parts them. This is not love. Love may be blind as they say. But, love should never be blind to the hurts we cause the ones we claim to love. In a loving relationship both persons will strive to love and support the other. 

Whether it is spouse, a friend, or even just an acquaintance, we are to love one another with our whole hearts and minds. We do not put ourselves before others. We do not make them feel less them. We do not do anything that would make them to cause hope. We seek to support them because of our godly love for them.  

Genuine love is not self-seeking. Genuine love comes from God. Genuine love is love that is willing to put aside one's own selfish pursuits for the love of others. Love does not put self first. 

Oh, Lord, without love we are nothing. If only the world would only learn to love as you love. Help us to selflessly love one another.

God's Peace - Pr. J

Marriage: A Major Commitment

"A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord." (1 Corinth 7:39 NIV) 

Today, my husband and I celebrate the 46th anniversary of our marriage. For the first couple of decades it was pretty up and down. There were times that the only thing that kept us together was the verse from Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. The only thing that kept us together was our promise "till death parts us." Marriage is not always "a piece of cake" or a "walk in the park." In fact, it can be quite difficult at times. There will be times that you will not feel "in love" or that you even love the person in any way, shape, or form. Depending on the feeling of love to keep a marriage together is not going to cut it. A genuine commitment is what will keep the marriage together and growing. A genuine commitment to love one another will help the love in a marriage grow.  

The only way to stay together is to stay together no matter what happens. I am not advocating for anyone who is in an abusive relationship to continue to be abused. There are times when two people are also so unequally yoked that they must separate or they risk destroying each other's lives. What I am advocating is that people take a serious look at who it is they are planning to marry. If you are a Christian, it would be very wise to marry a Christian. Paul reminds us in the sixth chapter of 2 Corinthians that we are not to be yoked with unbelievers. It's not a good thing for a Christian to plan to live the rest of their lives with an unbeliever. You will be tried and tested more than you can even imagine. You may even turn your back on Jesus after years of being worn down. 

And... as to this foolishness of sleeping with anyone and in some cases anything... well, that is way more than foolishness. This lifestyle will destroy your life. You will carry a piece of every person you sleep with for the rest of your days even after you finally find the person you will spend the rest of your days here on earth with. When God joined Adam and Eve they became one. When we are united with another, we become one. You may leave that person. You may move on to another. But, you will always be connected to everyone before.

It is a common misperception that we must have a piece of paper to be joined with another in the eyes of God. He sees all. He sees who you are with today and will see who you are with tomorrow. He sees who you are joining yourself to. He doesn't need the state to tell Him who is married and who is not.

Prior to the 16th century, Christian churches did not require any kind of permission from the state for a couple to be married. All that it took was the couple committing (exchanging vows) to live as man and wife and they were married in the eyes of the church. Sadly today, we have come to believe that the only commitment that is valid is the one that we agree to when we sign on the line. Marriage is way more than a written commitment. It is a commitment, for sure. It is a permanent commitment. By using the state authorization to marry, we have given ourselves an escape route. If the marriage doesn't work, we can go through the state so that our marriage is legally dissolved and we are absolved or so we think. The question we must ask ourselves is if it is really dissolved just because the state says so. When we claim that the only valid marriage is one that is authorized by the state we attempt to justify any promiscuous behavior prior to the marriage or after. We attempt to circumvent God's good plan; His will for us. 

I am also aware that there are many who would use what I have just said about not needing the state to approve our unions as an excuse to not make a commitment at all. When I hear people saying I don't believe in marriage meaning they don't believe in legal marriage, I usually also grasp that they mean that they don't want to have to go through the trouble of a legal divorce when they're done with their latest partner. Beware then of those who say they love you but are unwilling to risk making commitments.

There is a big difference between what is legal in this country and what is good and right according to scripture. If you want a good life; if you want peace in your life and you must be with someone then wait for the right person. Jumping around, trying out new partners is really only going to cause you grief. Who has time for that kind of grief? Be faithful to your spouse and be faithful to the one true God. 

May God bless your relationship with your spouse and even more importantly with Him.

God's Peace - Pr. J

Partners For Life

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner.” So out of the ground the Lord God formed every animal of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all cattle, and to the birds of the air, and to every animal of the field; but for the man there was not found a helper as his partner. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then he took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said,

“This at last is bone of my bones
    and flesh of my flesh;
this one shall be called Woman,
    for out of Man this one was taken.”

Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh. Genesis 2:18-24

 

My husband and I had been married for about ten years and were living at the Naval Station in Rota, Spain when the photo above was taken. We will celebrate forty-six years together this winter. So, we've been together for awhile. The photo reminds me of all the up and downs of married life. Living and serving in Rota was one of our periods together when we had way more ups than downs. It was a very good time, indeed. 

 

We have not always worked like partners. Marriage can be very hard work as two individuals attempt to live out their individual and mutual callings together. We have, at times, definitely worked against each other rather than with each other. But, no matter what struggles we have gone through; no matter how many times we may have thought that maybe the partnership should end; we have always gone back to the fact that it was God who joined us together. He gave us each other to help and support one another even to the end of our days on earth. 

 

Our days are getting shorter. We are both too old to spend too much time working against each other. But, it does still happen. Even while we are one in Christ, we still have different gifts; different calls and we find ourselves going in different directions. At times like that, we've found it's best to give each other a little space to grow and serve God in the direction He calls us as individuals. We give a little space even while we continue to help and support one another. 

 

Marriage can be very difficult; but, it is also a very great blessing. God has given you a partner for life in your husband or wife. May God help us to make the most of this great gift of marriage.

 

God's Peace - Pr. J

It Is Not Good To Be Alone

Jim and Sam - partners for and in life.

Two are better than one,
    because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
    one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
    and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
    But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
    two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
                                            (Eccl 4:9-12)

At worship yesterday, on Trinity Sunday, two of our members, stood before God and the congregation as they made a commitment to be there for each other for all the days of their lives. They asked God to bless their lives together that they might serve Him even more fully. As a gift to them, I gave them the cincture that I was wearing. Fastening this cord of three strands loosely around their wrists as a symbol that they were being bound together as one and that their commitment to each other would not be broken. It would not be broken because it is not just their love and commitment to each other that will keep them together. That cord of three strands: God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit will bless their lives together and will be there to help keep them together.

The commitment between a man and a woman, who love each other, to be there for each other is such a joy for me to witness. Being alone in this crazy world is not usually a good thing. It is very good for most of us to have someone to share our lives and our love with. The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Gen 2:18 NIV)

This is what marriage is about: a partnership. It is about two people being there for each other; supporting each other in good times and bad; encouraging each other; serving God and the community of saints as one; by the power of God's love.

When the rest of the world ignores you; you will have (hopefully) someone who will not.

May God bless your lives with someone to share your love and your life with on earth even as our Father in heaven loves us all. 

God's Peace - Pr. J

Do Not Be Afraid To Do His Will

But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”  Matt 1:20-21 NIV

Joseph was quite concerned about what he should do about Mary. Should he put her away quietly? Should he expose the infidelity that surely must have occurred in order for her to be with child? He was concerned. He was worried. He was fearful. What to do? Joseph did what the angel of the Lord directed him to do. He took Mary home as his wife, believing that what was conceived in her was God's will. He was not afraid to do the will of God.

Are we afraid to do His will? Are we afraid that we might become publically humiliated if we confess the name of Jesus to those who do not profess the same faith? Are we afraid that we might fail? Do not be afraid. God has a plan for the good of all who love Him. He is with us always and He will see that His will is done.

Do not be afraid to do His will. Do not be afraid to share the Good News of the Kingdom through Jesus Christ our Lord, for God is with you.

God's Peace - Pr. J