50 Years! Wah!

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. (Eph 5:31 KJV)

Fifty years! I am trying to process how we have managed to be married for fifty years today. I don't feel old enough to have been married that long. Yet, I am. There have also been many days when I've wondered how we actually managed to put up with each other in order to stay together that long. The answer is simple: by the grace of God.

We have considered how to celebrate this milestone anniversary; but, have not come up with anything. Although, the desire is there we both find that what we once may have enjoyed doing is just really pretty tiring for us. We just don't have the inclination to battle the traffic or crowds that we would encounter at doing most things. So it will be an early dinner out so that we can get to bed at our usual times. I have not drank alcoholic beverages in almost thirty years. But, if I don't get to bed at my usual time I wake up feeling hungover. I don't like that feeling because the whole day ends up feeling wasted. It will be an early evening as usual.

It was a pretty rocky beginning. Not many people thought we should get married. Thank God for my Grandma Mary Dalback as she seemed to be about the only family member from either side of the family who was truly supportive of the marriage. Even fewer thought that the marriage would last and it almost didn't on more than one occasion thanks to both of us acting badly and only considering ourselves rather than each other. But, by a miracle from God it has lasted and we have had each other to grow old with through better and through worse times; through sickness and health.

Marriage can be pretty rough. It can be challenging. But, when God joins two people together you can be assured that he will help you through those rough times if you let him; if you listen to him.

Fifty years of marriage! Wah! Thanks be to God for his grace and mercy! Thanks be to God for his good gift of love!

God's Peace - Pr. J.

Joined As One

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. 

                                                       (Eph 5:31-33 KJV)

This year will mark my husband's and my 50th wedding anniversary. To tell you the truth it sometimes amazes me that we have made it together for that long. It doesn't seem real that either of us could be that old! But, then again, we are not really old for we have eternal life!

Yesterday, we were cleaning boxes of files and photos and other memorabilia from our years together as we prepared for a rummage sale. Although, we have had some pretty rough times in our lives together there were many more really good times. The memorabilia reminded me of how we supported each other through individual trials and in that support of one another; although, we became united as one by God when we were first married, that oneness has become even more apparent after all of this time together. Oh, yes, there are days for both of us when we need a bit of distance from each other; but, with faith in God who has joined us together any distances or disturbances in the household cannot tear us apart.

I past years, when teaching confirmation youth, I reminded them that when God joins two people together they will always be a part of each other. Even if they end up separated, they will still be connected. They may be physically separated; but, spiritually and emotionally, for good or for bad, they will always be connected to each other. If they remarry they will bring a part of that first person along with them into that marriage. So be very careful to make sure that you want to be connected to that person for the rest of your days because you will be. This also applies to those pre-marital and live-in relationships that exist without the benefit of any kind of real commitment.

Just as God joins a man and woman together in a bond that cannot be broken; he has joined all who believe in Jesus with him. We are one in the Body of Christ (1 Cor 12:12-13) and nothing in this world can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus.

"For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Rom 8:38-39)

God's Peace - Pr. J.

P.S.  BTW - love and reverence for one another does happen when both husband and wife are united together in Christ for the indwelling Spirit of Christ is one of love as well as self-sacrifice as he gave himself for us because of his love for us.

Surgery Today!

Is any among you afflicted? let him pray. Is any merry? let him sing psalms.

Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord:

And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.

                                                                           (James 1:13-16 KJV)

Well, today is the day for my husband's heart surgery. He is scheduled for a triple by-pass this afternoon. There has been a lot of praying going on around here. When I left him the other night, I asked him if the chaplain had come by to see him. Of course, he had! Howard is at Advent Health, a faith based health system. On just about every wall in their hospitals are quotes from scripture that remind us that the Lord is with us and for us.

I am just a little anxious; probably being a bit selfish, as I really do not care to be left in this world without him. But, I have confidence that the Lord will be working through the surgeon.

I also, sometimes feel a bit guilty. We have been married for 49 years this year. I have been his pastor for about 25 of those years. I am not sure if it's all that fair to spouses to have their wife or husband as their pastor. While I do not have a problem giving pastoral care to others in times of need as I volunteered as a home health care and hospice chaplain for many years; I'm not so sure that I am doing or saying all that I should or could for my own family. So, thanks be to God for chaplains! Thanks be to God for faith based health care systems!

All of your prayers for him are very much appreciated! Thank you for your prayers!

God's Peace - Pr. J. 

If The Lord Wishes

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a town and spend a year there, doing business and making money.” Yet you do not even know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wishes, we will live and do this or that.” (James 4:13-15 NRSV)

When I was first married, my husband insisted on not making long term plans. At least, if we did, he did not want anyone knowing about them. He didn't want anyone thinking that we failed at doing what we planned to do.

Forty some years later, he likes to plan. I suppose I would like to, as well. The problem is that I really don't know what I want to do and is what I want to do even feasible. We are not getting any younger. I am at retirement age and I'd like to do some traveling and enjoy some time together. But, the reality is that I have been working for 50 years and as much as I think I'd enjoy retirement, I think I would be pretty bored not having something that I am absolutely committed to do every day. Howard has retired twice and now works part-time just for something to do.

So, we have been making plans for what we ought to do beginning this summer. Is it time to do some traveling around this country? Or, should we just stay put? Who can tell! We don't even know what tomorrow will bring, let alone a day six months from now.

As my husband would say, "Whatever happens, happens." All we can really do is love the Lord and one another and live the life that God has given us one day at a time. God has a plan; a good plan.

God's Peace - Pr. J

I Cannot Come

When one of those at the table with him heard this, he said to Jesus, “Blessed is the one who will eat at the feast in the kingdom of God.”

Jesus replied: “A certain man was preparing a great banquet and invited many guests. At the time of the banquet he sent his servant to tell those who had been invited, ‘Come, for everything is now ready.’

“But they all alike began to make excuses. The first said, ‘I have just bought a field, and I must go and see it. Please excuse me.’

 “Another said, ‘I have just bought five yoke of oxen, and I’m on my way to try them out. Please excuse me.’

 “Still another said, ‘I just got married, so I can’t come.’

 “The servant came back and reported this to his master. Then the owner of the house became angry and ordered his servant, ‘Go out quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame.’

 “‘Sir,’ the servant said, ‘what you ordered has been done, but there is still room.’

 “Then the master told his servant, ‘Go out to the roads and country lanes and compel them to come in, so that my house will be full.'"                                                                                                                   (Luke 14:15-23 NIV)

We all have excuses. Everyone, it seems, wants to be present at the great banquet table in the Kingdom of God after they enter through the gateway of death. But, not so many realize that the banquet table of the Kingdom is prepared just about every Sunday (sometimes more; sometimes less). This feast of Jesus Christ is for you. He invites you. The one who died for you and has prepared a place for you welcomes you. Yet, what is the response? Is it "I cannot come?" What better things do you have to do this Sunday?

The Kingdom of God is at hand. The table has been prepared for you. You have been invited. "Come, for everything is now ready."

God's Peace - Pr. J.

I Cannot Come

Come to the banquet!

“The kingdom of heaven is like a king who prepared a wedding banquet for his son. He sent his servants to those who had been invited to the banquet to tell them to come, but they refused to come." (Matt 22:2-3 NIV)

Oh, yes, a goodly number of us want to go this banquet after we are dead and buried; but, how about today? Are we willing to sit at that table today? Maybe, there's a more enticing table set someplace for you than at the Lord's Table? Not everyone that's been invited will be at the table eating and drinking; receiving the "foretaste of the feast to come." Some will decline for a "better" offer.

While serving at Zion Lutheran in Skanee, MI, on the occasions that this parable was our Sunday reading, the choir usually sang "I Cannot Come To The Banquet." (I could not find the author's name - possibly The Medical Mission Sisters, 1966?) It is quite the lively song; but, cuts right to the heart of things.

I cannot come.
I cannot come to the banquet, don't trouble me now.
I have married a wife.
I have bought me a cow.
I have fields and commitments
That cost a pretty sum.
Pray, hold me excused,
I cannot come.

A certain man held a feast on his fine estate in town.
He laid a festive table and wore a wedding gown.
He sent invitations to his neighbors far and wide
But when the meal was ready, each of them replied:

I cannot come.
I cannot come to the banquet, don't trouble me now.
I have married a wife.
I have bought me a cow.
I have fields and commitments
That cost a pretty sum.
Pray, hold me excused,
I cannot come.

The master rose up in anger, called his servants by name,
"Go into the town, fetch the blind and the lame,
Fetch the peasant and the pauper for this I have willed,
My banquet must be crowded, and my table must be filled."

I cannot come.
I cannot come to the banquet, don't trouble me now.
I have married a wife.
I have bought me a cow.
I have fields and commitments
That cost a pretty sum.
Pray, hold me excused,
I cannot come.

When all the poor had assembled,
There was still room to spare,
So the master demanded: "Go search ev'rywhere,
To the highways and the byways
And force them to come in.
My table must be filled before the banquet can begin.

I cannot come.
I cannot come to the banquet, don't trouble me now.
I have married a wife.
I have bought me a cow.
I have fields and commitments
That cost a pretty sum.
Pray, hold me excused,
I cannot come.

Yes, no? What will it be? All are invited! Will you come to the banquet?

God's Peace - Pr. J

P.S. Hope to see you at the Lord's Table.

No Adultery

The Sixth Commandment.

Thou shalt not commit adultery.

What does this mean?--Answer.
We should fear and love God that we may lead a chaste and decent life in words and deeds, and each love and honor his spouse.

http://bookofconcord.org/smallcatechism.php



What has been done cannot be undone. How hard I try to impress upon our young people (and older) that one can certainly be forgiven their sins; but, we cannot erase our past relationships! They will always be with us emotionally and spiritually. No one except your previous partner and you may ever even know about these liaisons; but, that does not negate the fact that you were joined to one another, if only for a few minutes. And... once joined; you will never be completely unjoined. No matter how hard you try to erase the memories, they will be permanently imbedded in your mind, coming to the forefront when you least expect it.

God did not create this commandment because he doesn't want you to enjoy life. In fact, he wants you to have an abundant and, yes, even a joyful life. Marriage and family can truly be a blessing from God. The children will come and go to raise their own families. But, how wonderful it is to have one person to share your entire life with. The less our lives are encumbered with old lovers making entrance into this new relationship; the less encumbered our lives are with carrying old baggage; the more pleasant and peaceful our lives will be.

There are those who have the mistaken idea that adultery only applies to those who are in a committed relationship: that it does not apply to those who are not married or living together. This is false. Adultery includes having sexual relations (doesn't necessarily even have to include sexual relations) with anyone that you are not bound to, in marriage, for life. Any and all sins can be forgiven by God. However, in this world there are most often consequences for our sins. Adultery has many adverse effects on self and on family. The harmful effects of parents' multiple relationships on children has been well documented. Adultery and the inability to be faithful to those whom we claim to love harms the whole family as well as society around us.

This commandment was not given to benefit God; but, to benefit humankind. If you desire a peaceful life, remain faithful; first to God, and then to one another.

May God help us to be faithful to those whom He loves.

God's Peace - Pr. J