Grief

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

                                                                                 (Eccl 3:1-2,4 KJV)

As much as I sometimes regret retiring from parish ministry, this week I was once again reminded of one of the reasons to retire. I spent many years serving one particular congregation and got very close to them. They were and are still like family. I had the good pleasure of being there at births, at graduations, of baptizing them, marrying them, of being there to celebrate for a lot of very special occasions. There was much laughing and singing and dancing over the years.

But, I was also there to witness much grief. I was there for sickness, for losses of employment, and for divorces as well as many other rough times. I buried hundreds, many who were very close to me, witnessing and grieving with their loved ones. The closer I got to any of them during their lives the harder is was for me to preside at their funerals. I no longer could refrain from weeping during the sermons as I looked into the eyes of the family sitting in front of me. I did not weep for the deceased. I had hope in the promise that all who people have eternal life. I wept for the families. I wept to see such pain. 

During most of this time I was also the home health care and hospice chaplain for the local hospital. One would think that I would have grown used to death. Death is inevitable. For the faithful death is not the end. We have hope. Yet, when someone is ripped from our lives grief is also inevitable. As we hear from the preacher in Ecclesiastes there is a time to weep and a time to mourn. 

This past week, a young friend died; a father of young children died. His parents were neighbors and also friends. It saddens me greatly to even think about the grief his family is enduring. It grieves me to think of his young children growing up without their father. 

Over a year ago, after I had retired, I had been asked to preside at the funeral of another man much younger than myself. He was survived by a teenage son whom I had known since birth.  The boys mother, who had been a friend, had died some time before. To see such a beloved child of God in so much grief and pain I could not refrain from weeping as I proclaimed the Gospel. It was a very tough sermon to get through. It was the last funeral I presided at. 

It was a reminder of how close I had gotten to the community (not just the congregation) that I had served in and that I no longer was able to control my own emotions as I witnessed the grief experienced by others. 

I have reminded myself over the years as I wept with those who grieved that even Jesus wept when he met Lazarus' sisters after Lazarus' death and saw them in so much pain. Pastors grieve too. Pastors are allowed to shed tears. But, today I find that grief overwhelms me too often as I witness the grief of others and that is one of the reasons it was best that I retire from parish ministry. That doesn't mean I quit serving God. It will just be in other ways. 

May God grant all who grieve peace of heart and mind in the assurance of everlasting life for all who believe.

God's Peace - Pr. J.