Today, my husband and I celebrate the 46th anniversary of our marriage. For the first couple of decades it was pretty up and down. There were times that the only thing that kept us together was the verse from Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. The only thing that kept us together was our promise "till death parts us." Marriage is not always "a piece of cake" or a "walk in the park." In fact, it can be quite difficult at times. There will be times that you will not feel "in love" or that you even love the person in any way, shape, or form. Depending on the feeling of love to keep a marriage together is not going to cut it. A genuine commitment is what will keep the marriage together and growing. A genuine commitment to love one another will help the love in a marriage grow.
The only way to stay together is to stay together no matter what happens. I am not advocating for anyone who is in an abusive relationship to continue to be abused. There are times when two people are also so unequally yoked that they must separate or they risk destroying each other's lives. What I am advocating is that people take a serious look at who it is they are planning to marry. If you are a Christian, it would be very wise to marry a Christian. Paul reminds us in the sixth chapter of 2 Corinthians that we are not to be yoked with unbelievers. It's not a good thing for a Christian to plan to live the rest of their lives with an unbeliever. You will be tried and tested more than you can even imagine. You may even turn your back on Jesus after years of being worn down.
And... as to this foolishness of sleeping with anyone and in some cases anything... well, that is way more than foolishness. This lifestyle will destroy your life. You will carry a piece of every person you sleep with for the rest of your days even after you finally find the person you will spend the rest of your days here on earth with. When God joined Adam and Eve they became one. When we are united with another, we become one. You may leave that person. You may move on to another. But, you will always be connected to everyone before.
It is a common misperception that we must have a piece of paper to be joined with another in the eyes of God. He sees all. He sees who you are with today and will see who you are with tomorrow. He sees who you are joining yourself to. He doesn't need the state to tell Him who is married and who is not.
Prior to the 16th century, Christian churches did not require any kind of permission from the state for a couple to be married. All that it took was the couple committing (exchanging vows) to live as man and wife and they were married in the eyes of the church. Sadly today, we have come to believe that the only commitment that is valid is the one that we agree to when we sign on the line. Marriage is way more than a written commitment. It is a commitment, for sure. It is a permanent commitment. By using the state authorization to marry, we have given ourselves an escape route. If the marriage doesn't work, we can go through the state so that our marriage is legally dissolved and we are absolved or so we think. The question we must ask ourselves is if it is really dissolved just because the state says so. When we claim that the only valid marriage is one that is authorized by the state we attempt to justify any promiscuous behavior prior to the marriage or after. We attempt to circumvent God's good plan; His will for us.
I am also aware that there are many who would use what I have just said about not needing the state to approve our unions as an excuse to not make a commitment at all. When I hear people saying I don't believe in marriage meaning they don't believe in legal marriage, I usually also grasp that they mean that they don't want to have to go through the trouble of a legal divorce when they're done with their latest partner. Beware then of those who say they love you but are unwilling to risk making commitments.
There is a big difference between what is legal in this country and what is good and right according to scripture. If you want a good life; if you want peace in your life and you must be with someone then wait for the right person. Jumping around, trying out new partners is really only going to cause you grief. Who has time for that kind of grief? Be faithful to your spouse and be faithful to the one true God.
May God bless your relationship with your spouse and even more importantly with Him.
God's Peace - Pr. J
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