Blood Family

It is for your sake that I have borne reproach,
   that shame has covered my face.

I have become a stranger to my kindred,   

   an alien to my mother’s children.
It is zeal for your house that has consumed me;
   the insults of those who insult you have fallen on me.

                                            (Psalm 69:7-9 NRSV)

The belief that family unity is a priority no matter what can devastate individuals. When adult members of a family find themselves at odds, it can send the Christian members of the family into feelings of guilt and depression. After all; are we not to love one another? How loving is it when we cannot live in unity with our genetic brothers and sisters? So they try everything they can to please the other members of the family, including not standing up for what is right. They will even provide false alibis for those who have committed criminal offenses. Even most Christians will focus on pleasing man rather than God for the sake of blood family members. They believe that it is a part of the mandate to love one another. Watching, without any intervening, someone who is destroying themselves and others around them is not loving.

St. Paul wrote: "Am I now seeking human approval, or God’s approval? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still pleasing people, I would not be a servant of Christ." (Gal 1:10)

It is difficult when someone is put in the position of having to choose between doing what is right and what will keep your birth family tolerating you and your faith. I often hear stories of families who have a very difficult time even being in the same room together. In fact, I know very few families that do not suffer this division. Many times the differences that cause these breaks in relationships have to do with varying lifestyles; with varying degrees of faith or lack of faith. Christians can normally live in peace with those who have very different lifestyles than themselves. They can and will continue to love and have empathy for those they see going off on a path that will lead them to destruction. However, it becomes most difficult when the Christian is ostracized and persecuted because they will not join their family members or friends on a path other than the one that Jesus leads them on. 

When working with young men in juvenile correctional facility, they would often express their desire to return home to their families. Some of the parent(s) of those teen-age boys had introduced their sons to substance abuse. Some had their sons selling drugs on the street for them. Some beat them unmercifully for minor offenses. 

As a foster parent for teen-age boys, I heard their pleas to be returned to their parents no matter how awful their lives had been. They were convinced that their parents would somehow have figured out, in the absence of their children, that they would now start loving them and caring for them instead of neglecting and abusing them. I don't recall one case of that actually happening.

When working with these children who were fast becoming adults, I would often remind them that the blood that is thicker than blood is the blood of Christ that was shed for them. 

It can be devastating for a child or an adult not to be firmly connected with their birth families. To live with people who choose a lifestyle that persecutes those who would follow in "the way" that is more peaceful and productive is difficult. There are times when the persecuted must distance themselves for their own sakes and for the sakes of the ones they love. It does no one any good to close your eyes and shut your lips to the injustices that occur in the family or the community. Never doing or saying anything about injustices is not a solution.

It is better to speak the truth than ignore the destruction that is happening around you for the sake of peace with the one who is going down and leading others down the wrong path. Speaking the truth may indeed win you more persecutions.  But, correcting others in love may also help them turn around and go in the way that they should go.

Standing up for the truth; standing up for Jesus, will not win a lot of accolades in many families. It is not even always accepted within the visible church. But; if we do not, we contribute to the downfall of the community; we contribute to the downfall of the visible church on earth. 

Persecutions will come by standing up for Jesus. They will come even from family whom we love. When your family persecutes and even disowns you; lift up your head and remembers that there is a blood that is thicker than blood. It is the blood of Christ that was shed for you. 

I pray that this does not sound to convoluted to you. It is my attempt to remind you that no matter what the world around you thinks of you, the world was not pleased with the prophets nor was it happy with Jesus. No matter who persecutes you; whether it is firth family or friends, you are a beloved child of our Heavenly Father. You have family in Christ! You get to live life as a child of God!

God's Peace - Pr. J