Love Does Not Abuse

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love. 

                       (1 John 4:18 NRSV)

There are more ways to abuse someone than physical abuse. Emotional, mental, and spiritual abuse can also destroy the person being abused. It is also devastating to the people who truly do love them.  

There are many ways in which abuse other than physical abuse occurs. 

1. Do they tell you often that you are stupid or crazy? 

2. Do they refuse to talk about your hurt when you are feeling down and do you feel down a lot because they keep reminding you that they think you are stupid or crazy? 

3. Do they find excuses for you to not to visit friends or family without them? Are they isolating you from those who truly do love you and who would be your support system?

4. Do they find excuses to go out with their friends and leave you behind making you feel like you are not good enough to be seen with them or to be around their friends?

5. Do you have to have every penny that you would spend approved by them while they are free to spend... spend... spend?

6. Do you spend an awful lot of time crying alone?

Abusers tend to be narcissists and control freaks. They want to control your life as well as everything else around them to please themselves. Whether it is from low self-esteem or egos that are too large; they will do and say everything they can in order to control your life in an attempt to make themselves look good in their own eyes. Abusers do need our prayers as much as the abused do. The manipulation and control they attempt to exert upon others often falls back on themselves causing them not only more inner turmoil; but, sometimes legal consequences, as well.

7. Are you afraid that if you don't do and say everything that the one you loves expects that you will lose them?

If so, maybe it is time to let them go. This is not love. Love casts out all fear. Love does not insist on having its own way. It will not make excuses for not doing what is right when it wants to do what it wants to do.

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Cor 13:4-7)

8.  Have they managed to convince you that faith in Christ is a myth and that you should have faith in them alone so that you no longer trust in God's love for you? 

Live life in the light of Christ's love. His perfect love casts out all fear! His love does what is right and good for the ones whom he loves.

God's Peace - Pr. J